Still Single!!!!!

It was the first day in MESKK and the first period was chemistry lab!!!! Yeah, after coming to MES, and after going “girlfriendless” in my whole high school, I was hoping to get one for sure. I thought that though I was neither tall nor dark, I was atleast handsome. I actually was proven wrong later. My quest started from my first class. I was trying to find someone who was good looking and simple. Fortunately, MES had many such girls. But my eyes fell upon one standing exactly to my opposite. She was pouring some salt solution into the test tube and didn’t quite notice me (naturally!!!!!!). But by this time, I had made my mind that it was her and no one else (probably I was very much influenced by the Bollywood movies those days).It was not enough to select one, but the most important part was to impress that girl and make her think that she liked me (Man, the toughest job on earth). So, I was on the mission from day one though I didn’t know how to proceed. In the beginning, I just was indulged in looking at her and admiring her simplicity. But later I realized that if I didn’t do anything else, she wouldn’t even notice me. For her to know me, I had to get her intro (introduction) from her friends. And for this to happen, I had to get acquainted with her friends. Here started my badluck. Though couple of her friends were a bit good natured and decent, most of the people in her so-called group (later I got to know that she hated most of them and was not involved much with them.) were the “bad-elements” of my class. Without any other option, I made their friendship which was too costly for me at the end (especially “Mr. Bad guy” of my coll-my other MES friends know to whom I am pointing to). That was the worst ever group in the college and the studious guys started keeping me away slowly as I had become one among the bad guys and also, instead of showing interest in my academics, I was becoming a thespian.Coming back to my love story, I was finally successful in getting her intro thru my group. I can never forget the day when I first spoke to her. That day, a big goon from the group had proposed her and she had refused. He was using all the tricks of trade to please her. Don’t know what happened to him later though (Actually, I hardly met him later). That day, when I spoke to her first, she had offered me a seat next to her. Here, please don’t mistake me. I never took that as an encouraging symbol. I think that it was just for courtesy sake. That instant, I started liking her more than ever as I saw her simplicity from a very small distance. Actually speaking, I had started respecting her more now.Now was the time for self realization. I had by now realized that this was not my cup of tea. I had zero experience in talking to a girl didn’t have any clue what the next should be. So, I had to disclose the fact to couple of my friends in the group. They were encouraging (but I always felt that they laughed behind me and were always trying to backstab me). At that time, I completely believed them and thought that they would not betray me. Now when I think about those things, I feel that my biggest mistake was to tell them about my crush. They probably made it more complicated and messy.As the days went by, I came to know many of her qualities which were just what I expected and I was growing fond of her. She was soft spoken, silent, mature, etc, etc. Most of our future plans were also similar. Whether she liked me or not, is still a mystery. But even today, when I think about her, my heart misses a beat. When everything looked good, I don’t know from whom, my crush got to know about my intentions in a wrong sense and from then there was a huge misunderstanding between us. One day when I called her house, (I don’t know if it was done by her purposefully!!!!!!) her mother picked up the phone and started lecturing me and telling me not to call her again. That day as per my knowledge was the last day in my first puc that we spoke to each other. I was just wondering why didn’t she atleast tell sorry????Other than this, another interesting incident happened during my first year in college. This girl i.e. my crush had one weird habit of internet chatting. She had this silly idea of finding her guy in a net-café (now that’s really weird). One day after she came to know that I had a crush on her, as if to make me envious she told that she had an affair with some guy from Delhi over the internet. The only way they communicated was by chatting daily. I was absolutely taken aback by this and was very depressed. Above that, I was very new to all these things and hence clueless. My confidence was low mainly for the reasons that I was too innocent and I didn’t have either money or looks to woo her towards me. As I was short of ideas, I left it to my friends who finally messed it up for me. She came to know that I was trying to break that silly relationship she had by playing a prank. My attempt was not fruitful but after somedays, I got to know that she had broken that relationship (what else could have happened to that?).Though I had fallen hard for her, I had decided that I’ll concentrate on my studies in my 2nd year and stop thinking about her. But that was obviously not possible as this time coincidence made us talk to each other again. We both had joined the same tuition classes and had to sit together for all the tests. Still, we hadn’t talked to each other for months. Finally, for some reason we spoke again and this time it was a deeper wound to me. It was more intense and it was better than the previous stint. There was no way for me to come out of it. We developed a better rapport this time around and spoke more casually. She had called me once and actually spoke with me for around half an hour over the phone.That all started with her attending my play. I was a sort of main character and by now had made a very good name in the college. I was acting very well and had won many prizes for the same. Even now I don’t understand if she really was impressed with me or there was no such intention. But atleast I believed that she had some soft corner for me in her heart. I used to call her daily this time and we used to chat really well over the phone and the friendship was becoming very strong. Thankfully this time, the baddie group didn’t interfere much. I could have probably pulled it off this time but couldn’t succeed as the way I spoke was really awful and confused. I was totally messed up while speaking to her and instead of impressing her started depressing her. I had no idea (still don’t have that) how to speak to a girl. Then finally one day, when I called her she didn’t pick up the phone. Her mother picked it up and like the previous time blasted me but it was worst than the first time. This finally hurt my ego completely. I decided to quit thinking about her. But that wouldn’t happen. Still somewhere inside me I was thinking that I could turn the tables and the story would go my way. But that was a hope which never came true.That was the last day I spoke to her. After that she remained in my memory and never got erased. Even today, the only girl who comes in my mind whenever I think of a girlfriend is her. Still I am waiting for her and hoping that someday she’ll realize my love towards her and come back to me.
If at all I never had a crush over her and we had remained friends, then I think that by now it would have been a very strong bond because we both thought alike and had same plans. Actually, we are almost haveing the same career till now. Even today I'll feel myself lucky if she considers to be my friend.